Hiei's Bed Time
by SanoGirl
Summary: One-shot fluff fic about Hiei the toddler being put to bed by his guardian Kurama. Sillyness and fluff galore.


Author's Note: I wrote this one with the help of my friend Kenshin. Based on a very hyper IM…

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Hiei's Bedtime 

  
  
"Hiei!" Kurama called, standing in the doorway looking out at the wide expanse of grass and trees. He got no response. So when a little black blur rushed by him at top speed, he grabbed it by the scruff of the neck and lifted it up to eye-level. "Guess what time it is?" he asked in a sugary sweet voice, eyes squinted up, grinning. "No wanna!" Hiei yelled in a sulky voice as he fought and twisted in Kurama's grasp. "Tsk, tsk," Kurama replied, shaking a finger under the 2-year-old fire demon's nose. "Bed time!" he exclaimed and took the still protesting Hiei inside, slamming the door shut behind them.   
  
Hiei twisted one final time, sinking his fangs into Kurama's arm and in that one split second of distraction ran off down the hall at top speed. "Hiei!" Kurama called. "Bad Fire Baby! Get back here you naughty rascal, you!" And he ran off after him, sighing as they began their nightly routine. This happened every night; Hiei would run off, Kurama would chase him down, wrestle him into bed, and then pray to whoever was in the heavens that the little troublemaker would stay there. But he had forgotten that he was supposed to baby-sit Yusuke, Kuwabara, Boton, Yukina, and Keiko tonight, too.   
  
Forgetting this very crucial factor (for the moment anyway) Kurama tore after his precious little bundle of joy, shouting various bribes and threats. Hiei ripped around a corner and smacked right into the couch, which he had forgotten to pay attention for. Kurama took that chance and jumped forwards, grabbing Hiei once more by the scruff of the neck. And just as he managed to do this, the doorbell rang.   
  
"Coming!" he called and put the still struggling Hiei into a headlock. Running to the door, he yanked it open and found five more little kids thrust at him.   
  
"Thank you so much for babysitting our kids!" their various mothers called and quickly left before any changes in plans could be made.   
  
Shutting the door, Kurama tightened his grip on Hiei and said, "Okey doeky my wittle Fire Baby, it's bed time!"   
  
Kicking and writhing in Kurama's strong grasp Hiei yelled in response, "I NO WANNA GO BEDDIE BYE!" and smacked Kurama full across the face.   
  
The other kids snickered and laughed until Kurama turned his emerald-eyed glare upon them too. "Bed time for you kids too!" he declared.

Five pairs of eyes widened and five mouths opened up and shouted their displeasure. Kurama winced and Hiei broke out of his grasp, running off with all of the others. Sighing, Kurama plopped himself down on the couch and turned on the TV, hoping the little ones would tire themselves out as the night wore on. 

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Two hours later Kurama turned off the TV as Yusuke danced on his head for the tenth time and jumped up, grabbing the little delinquent before he could run off again. "BED TIME!!!!!" he bellowed at the top of his voice. Various shouts answered him and he charged through the now wrecked house, passing broken dishes, spilled food, scattered toys, torn magazines, rolls of toilet paper, and goodness knows what else. He paused by the bathroom, looked in and quickly moved on. Time to deal with that later!   
  
Yusuke smirked. "Kuwabara missed!" he proclaimed in a proud five-year-old voice.   
  
"I can tell..." Kurama muttered.   
  
He could hear the pounding of little feet in the next room and he burst in, almost knocking the door off its hinges. Five little faces covered in chocolate looked up at him and ten little hands removed themselves from the open carton in front of them. Kurama's face paled and Yusuke shouted at them for not waiting for him.   
  
The kids giggled and proceeded to wipe their hands and faces, first on each other, then on the drapes and furniture.   
  
"Noooooooooo!!!" Kurama wailed, but to no avail. Sighing he pulled a seed out of his air and five minutes later he stood amid a bundle of vine-wrapped kids. Wiping the thin film of sweat off his forehead he carried them up the stairs and into Hiei's bedroom. Setting up extra futons he lay each of the children on one and cautiously undid the vines. The kids looked up at him with wide eyes as he sat down in a chair and pulled out a book.   
  
"I'm gonna read you a story!" he said with a grin.   
  
Six little kids were soon in numerous positions on and around him, with Hiei topping them all by sitting on Kurama's head. He yanked a silky red lock and grinned. "FUN!"   
  
"Can I help you read the story?!" Yusuke begged.   
  
"No!" Boton protested. "You'll ruin the story!"   
  
After which ensued several minutes of arguing over who was going to help Kurama read the story.   
  
Finally fed up, Kurama shouted, "NO ONE IS GOING TO HELP ME!!!" Twelve childish eyes of various colors all looked at him at once.   
  
"You're scary!" Kuwabara yelled and as if on cue, all six kids ran to the door of the room. Kurama sat back and smirked, having already locked and bolted the door before he untied the kids. The key was strung on a chain around his neck and he prided himself on his wonderful strategy.   
  
Finding the doors locked, all of the little delinquents dived under the covers of their futons. All except for Yusuke. He latched onto Hiei's ankles. "C'mon little baby!" To which Hiei promptly replied, "GET LOST STUPID NINGEN!" And beat the crap out of him.   
  
All the other kids stayed hidden, knowing Hiei's temper, while Kurama just sat there and smothered his laughter, hiding a grin behind one slender hand. After a few minutes he decided that enough was enough and tied them both up with a few more vines. Setting each on their respective futons he once again pulled out the book. "Good, now both my little Fire Baby AND little Yusuke can hear the story!" He grinned.   
  
Yusuke looked as if he was about to cry and Hiei looked as if he were about to murder Kurama. Oblivious to it all, Kurama continued smiling and said, "Now, are we all having fun at the little slumber party?"   
  
Hiei and Yusuke made muffled noises through their vine-gags and the other kids in the room just snickered and nodded. "You guys are too cute, you know that?" Kurama cooed, petting Hiei's hair.   
  
Hiei bit through his gag and shouted, "I DON'T LIKE YUSUKE!!" Kurama just laughed again. "Well, you'll have to have friends SOMETIME!" He cut the vines once more and realized too late (after Hiei had kicked Yusuke's head) that that had been a bad idea. "No, no, no Fire Baby!" he scolded, picking up the little fire demon and once again enfolding him in vines. He tucked the little demon in and stuffed Yusuke into his futon, moving it to the opposite side of the room.   
  
"Finally! Story Time!" he said.   
  
"I wanna hit Boton," Hiei whined. "Don't make me have to gag you again, Hiei!" Kurama warned.   
  
"Aiiiiiii!!" Boton screamed and ran off around the room. Kurama, chasing after her, forgot to maintain his bonds on Hiei and soon Hiei broke free and chase after Boton too. "No! Bad Fire baby!" Kurama yelled, shaking his finger at him. "BOTON!" he yelled. "HIEI, GET BACK HERE NOW!"   
  
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!" Hiei shouted, running even faster then before. "Gotcha!" Kurama crowed triumphantly, grabbing the edge of the chubby little demon's cloak. "BED TIME YOUNG MAN!" But Hiei managed to slip out of his cloak and continued to chase Boton around the room, waving his toy sword at her.   
  
"If you guys don't start behaving, NO STORY!" And he grabbed Hiei's hair, clutching at it with a death-grip and not letting go.   
  
"OW!" Hiei yelped. "NO WANT ICKY KURAMA!" And his little feet flew furiously, scraping against the floor and getting nowhere.   
  
"Need help, Kurama?" asked Kuwabara.   
  
"NO!" Hiei screamed at him. "GO AWAY CARROT HEAD!"   
  
Kurama took this instant to tie him up ONCE AGAIN and tuck him in ONCE AGAIN.   
  
"Okay tomato-top, let's hear this story!" Kuwabara exclaimed.   
  
"Be nice!" Keiko scolded, her sticky chocolate face glaring at him.   
  
"Now the story will be...one second..." And he proceeded to beat the crap out of Kuwabara. "ROSE WHIP THORN WHEEL!!!"   
  
Moments later Kuwabara was flat on the floor and Kurama calmly sat down again and yanked out the book.   
  
"Can we finally start the story?" Yukina asked.   
  
But Kurama wasn't paying any attention to her, he was watching as Hiei squirmed his way out the window. "Anyway, like I was saying..."   
  
All that could be heard from Yusuke was loud snoring as Hiei fell out the window. Kurama clamped a hand over his mouth. "This is the 3rd story Hiei, I hope you can fly!" But when he looked out, he found Hiei climbing down the tree that was next to the house. Seconds later he was standing on the ground, looking up and grinning. Inside, Yusuke was still snoring to wake the dead. Kuwabara whined at the top of his lungs about the noise and Yukina and Keiko were both crying.   
  
"Now this is what I would call utter and complete mayhem," Boton commented. "Oh, no!" Kurama replied. "I've seen worse!" And he jumped gracefully out the window after Hiei. When on the ground, he grabbed the little troublemaker, knocked him out and tied him up in bed for the millionth time.   
  
Kurama looked around the room fondly at an unconscious Hiei, a sleeping Yusuke, an almost dead Kuwabara, and a confused Boton. "Hey! Yukina and Keiko! You guys get to sleep already!"   
  
Yukina and Keiko both gulped and dove beneath the covers, pretending to be asleep. This brought a loud "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!" forth from Boton.   
  
Kurama, getting a little fed-up with the way too mature five-year-old, smacked her and drug her to her futon. "Bed time for you too little missy!" "But but but but but but..." Boton protested. Kurama ignored her and tucked her in, complete with a gag. Once again he paused and looked around the room fondly.   
  
"Um..." Yukina said, incredulously.   
  
Kurama, seeing Kuwabara making the floor ugly, ignored her and chucked the orange-headed boy out the window. Then turning his attention back to the room he grabbed Yukina and re-tucked her into her bed. "Nightie-night, don't let the bed bugs bite!" He switched off the lights.   
  
Koenma chose this moment to randomly pop in the room. "You are officially nuts!" he proclaimed. "Ahhhhhhh!!!!" Kurama shrieked at the top of his lungs. "Don't pop up on me like that, pacifier-breath!" he exclaimed, coining a phrase from one of his beloved little charges. Seeing nothing else to do with the EXCEEDINGLY annoying ruler of the Spirit World, he knocked him over the head and stuffed him in bed beside Boton. "Now, don't you two make a cute couple..." he mused.   
  
Boton just stared at him with a blank look on her face.   
  
Meanwhile Hiei had SOMEHOW managed ONCE AGAIN to slip out of his bonds and sneak up behind Kurama. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" he laughed evilly, as he gagged his guardian and tied him to the chair. "Now it's time for YOUR bedtime story!" he said. And then he whacked poor Kurama on the head and began to read "The Three Bears"...upside down. But Kurama calmly bit through the ropes and shouted, "NOW HIEI BABY!" and grabbed the book.  
  
To which Hiei responded, "NOW KURAMA BABY!" "You know you can't read!" Kurama chastised him. Hiei just bit the end of the book. "Yes I can!" And he grabbed the book back and read it...backwards. "No, no, no!" Kurama said, exasperated. "Like this!" And he held the book sideways. "See I told you so!"   
  
And Hiei got so frustrated with all of this that he tore all the pages out of the book and flushed them down the toilet. "YAY!" he shouted, and hugged Kurama's knees. After which, he grabbed Koenma's pacifier and stuffed it down the drain. "WHEEEE!!!"   
  
And it was about this time that Kurama went Youko and knocked everybody out, and tying them to their respective futons with thick, secure vines.   
  
"Good-night," he said tiredly and walked out of the room.   
  
Hiei snickered as soon as he left and wriggled free once more. "Fun time!" he whispered to himself and pulled out a can of shaving cream. 

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End file.
